I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
