The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
