So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
