I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
