Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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