Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
