these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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