If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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