dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
