Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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