Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
