Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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