I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
