He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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