do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
