so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
