don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I supernannyed him into submission
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
