I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
