it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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