I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
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you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
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How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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