If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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