Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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