I got chris browned last night
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
