I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
