OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
