She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
