Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
