the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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