Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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