You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
