3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
