i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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