Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
