Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize