My room smells like vodka and shame
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
