Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
