I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
