After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
