My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
