The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
