My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
