Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
