It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
