We won't sleep together?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
