But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
