I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I miss vodka workout Fridays
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
