I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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