Grow some girl-balls and come out already
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
