Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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