And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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