My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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