a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
