Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Is it because I queefed?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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