Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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