Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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