Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
